Thursday, July 14, 2005

Strong, Independent, Women.

Every morning, before I sit on my chair at the office, I prepare a cup of instant coffee. If I walk in the kitchen and this girl in particular is in there (and its a big kitchen,) she shivers; which puts me in a very awkward and eerie situation. I feel very uncomfortable around her, since she uses all her conscious senses in an effort to avoid getting close to me. After a couple of instances, I just head back until she is done so I can make my cup of coffee and avoid the awkward silence. The poor woman is conditioned psychologically to feel that men are packs of wolves. My assumption is that our culture devides the genders socially to the point that she feels if she touches me by mistake, she is pretty much damaged goods.

Another situation that makes me very uncomfortable is when I am introduced to a lady. I hesitate to shake hands. If I dont, and she expected me to, Im retarded; If I extend my hand and she doesnt shake hands, Im embarrassed.

I dont know what is it exactly. My guess is women have much less rights; and they are cognitively taught through involvement and perception, that they basically take the back seat. Anything they say or do can be used against them, since men are responsible for keeping women in line.

Like in Saudi, women cant go anywhere without a male relative. The only word I can think of is
dependant. The Mullas (religious regulators) always warn from Women being alone, and the necessity of a male relative to make sure burning sexual desires are repressed, and that women dont run off with strange men. Im sure all of you heard about the fatwa that women can log on the internet only when a man is present.

Why dont we have many Ghada Jamsheers and Nada Hafath's? And not one single elected female in any office?

In my opinion, one of the reasons we dont have many women leaders, is because men are more comfortable with each other. I can have a friendly (man-to-man) conversation with my superiors. It does not have to be about work. It can be about football, vacation, how much I hate someone... anything ( if they're in a good mood.) Ladies, on the other hand, are limited to discussing work and nothing else. If they carry a friendly conversation with a man, they might be seen as flirty sluts. This barrier limits her access to little tips and skills that a man like me gets from more experienced individuals, since there is more interaction. When managerial vacancies and promotions come around, guess who's more likely to get them? Good old joker, thats not the sharpest tool in the shed, but picked up some tricks of the trade? Or the shy girl that hides behind her files and I cant remember her name?

Bottom line is, I believe that if women can easily approach men, and had more space to be independent, they will be much better off.

13 Comments:

Blogger Evil Odd said...

J, don't you think it's the fact that you are aware of her 'shivering' that makes you feel uncomfortable? If you turn a blind eye to her movements and actions, you'd go about your way and do your own thing. Then, if she made a comment about your presence, you could reply with a smart-ass tone 'excuse me? Does this kitchen have your name all over it!? Besides, who do you think are?' and walk away :) Giving people a taste of their own 'impression' works sometimes!

3:39 PM  
Blogger The Joker said...

Odd, when I'm in the kitchen first, she waits for me outside until I'm done. I really dont know what to say.

And about her making a comment. I just said in the post that these types of girls dont dare look a man in the eye because of the way they were brought up. Do you think she's the kind of person that would say something like that?

6:49 PM  
Blogger Evil Odd said...

Well then, she's just being cautious. You know, the whole saying 'The devil is the third when a man and woman (not married) are alone in a room'

3:26 AM  
Blogger ES said...

Bahraini women turn into she-hulks when angry. Maybe you did something that upset her and she doesn't want to see you suffer her wrath for some reason.

You could perhaps scare her by saying the following expression literally: "If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen, mofo. Or you could just wait outside like a wet orphan dog until the King has left the building. Boy, I sure do love being part of the dominant sex."

5:09 PM  
Blogger SillyBahrainiGirl said...

plain and simple..
some girls are shy ;)

i know this comes as a surprise from silly me.. but some Arab girls are extremely shy around guys (THEY LIKE) and behave in an awkward way when they are around them...

10:39 PM  
Blogger ES said...

Or maybe she's just exceptionally religious?

11:47 PM  
Blogger Evil Odd said...

Oooohh, someone has a crush on Joker ;)

3:40 AM  
Blogger The Joker said...

SBG and ODD, you are giving the woman too much emphasis.. she's just like ES said, exeptionally religious. She is just an example of how some young ladies act. Either that or most of the girls in Bahrain have a crush on me and I dont know it :p

6:23 AM  
Blogger Roonie said...

Let me at Bahrain. I'd take your entire kingdom by storm.

7:09 AM  
Blogger The Joker said...

roonie, you're gonna fail to impress if we have people like es.

"If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen, mofo. Or you could just wait outside like a wet orphan dog until the King has left the building. Boy, I sure do love being part of the dominant sex." "

I like....

3:17 PM  
Anonymous English Expat in Bahrain said...

I think a polite and friendly 'Good Morning' is enough, take it from there. Silence in these situations is definitely not golden! Forget religion and nationality, this is universal - I hope!
I'm not religious nor a Bahraini, but I feel "The poor woman is conditioned psychologically to feel that men are packs of wolves. My assumption is that our culture devides the genders socially to the point that she feels if she touches me by mistake, she is pretty much damaged goods." is somewhat prejudicial, are young Bahraini women so extremely conditioned in this way nowadays?

10:15 PM  
Blogger The Joker said...

English expat, in fairness I wouldn't say her type is a majority... especially in Bahrain... I'd say she's rather unique.

But the point still stands, although its generally less in degree. There is this cultural aspect where some ladies feel guilt-ridden if they interact with men.

Its very normal here if you see a co-worker or an ex-classmate of the other sex somewhere to just walk past you without a hello, not because they're not polite... they just dont feel like taking a guilt trip.

12:19 AM  
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1:47 PM  

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