Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Religion = Income?

Today, after a heavy iftar meal, I kicked back in front of the tube with my father watching the valuable variety of intellectual programming when I recieved a message. It was the good folks from MTC-vodafone, not reminding me of a bill payment, but offering me a daily prayer (du'aa) in the voice of shaikh bin ufaisan or something, 30 days for BD3. What a bargain! Sounds like those sex lines 1800 h-o-t-g-i-r-l ads they have on TV. My father made a comment about using religion to make a buck.. I tried to argue with him, not because I disagree, but its the laziest way of seeing whats on his mind.. we got up to do different things.. but I kept thinking... When you get married you pay an arm and a leg in dowry, because it says right there that you must make some form of payment to the bride's folks, cheap-ass!

When I lived in an isolated town in west Texas, in ramadan this mulla suspected that the food we had for Iftar wasn't exactly Halal, so he picks up the big dish of "god's gift to nurish our bodies" and threw it in the garbage can in the street. He claimed that he didnt want to be responsible for us eating un-halal food. Fair enough. Apparently this guy found an arbitrage, and did his business buying halal meat from out of town and selling it for twice the going rate. Is he still responsible if I couldnt afford his offering and got allured by the devil beef?

The most obvious example is Islamic banking. Basically, interest is the devil's accountant. We'll have none of that! What we'll do is, I'll make a run to the car dealership, buy the car FOR YOU, and you pay me the difference... uhh well isn't that flat rate and you're kind of ripping me off? NO! Thats the profit I made... its certainly not interest. Ok.. what if I needed cash, how are you going to get your profit? Here is the plan. I'll sell you this Diamond for 1,000 BD, and you can pay me in installments over a year... now take this Diamond over there to the nice bank agent over there, and he will buy back the diamond from you for 700 BD. This is how I can rip you off without giving you 700 and recieving 1000 and getting the good lord upset.

Of course there are the exorcists that charge by the hour like a practitioner, to rid their patients of evil spirits, and the people in the Holy land tour bus business, that arrives in Mecca and people brim out of the bus like a pinata exploded.

43 Comments:

Blogger moodZ said...

Whats wrong with using religion to make money?!

2:58 AM  
Blogger Cerebralwaste said...

Joker

Thank YOU for the LAUGH!!! After today I needed a good one and I found it with you!

What a racket that mullah had in Texas!! See how that American Free Enterprise spirit gets into your bones when you hang around us damn Yanks! YEE HAW!!!!

3:48 AM  
Blogger The Joker said...

Buy it cheap, slap on a markup, work on volume, THATS THE AMERICAN WAY!

Actually, cerebral waste, I think islamic banking is the real joke... I donno if you're familiar with it... but they're kind of blessing your earnings for a fee. Its similar to the Catholic church before the renessance... The church had a big blue print and started selling plots of lands to individuals with a fairly high net worth.

8:57 PM  
Blogger Cerebralwaste said...

You mean your not following the "We lose money on each sale but we plan to make it up in volume!" plan???

I know a little about Islamic banking and I think I wil stick with my Royal Scottish Bank branch!

9:52 PM  
Anonymous yippy yo yippy yay said...

I think the most obvious example is those people who lead shias’ rite during the month of Moharam(I am shia so no politics please), and sit on the tribunes claiming that they are enlightening people while in reality they are doing nothing but making people cry for the tragedy of Imam Hussain and at the end of the rites they collect those money to kick about looking for the second, third and fourth wife.

A thorough research of what the majority of mullahs present to people at mosques and ma’atem are bullshit repetitive, sterile topics, yet, they got thousands that even Wall Street bandits do not get during such a short period of time.

10:59 PM  
Blogger The Joker said...

Cerebral Waste, RBS? I thought Fleet Boston was your local bank? It merged with B&A didnt it?

Yippy yo: LOL! They're in and out of there faster than a shoplifter!

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Blogger Cerebralwaste said...

Fleet is no more. Bank of America now owns Fleet. At least now we can call the Boston Garden the GARDEN again!

RBS!! See I am a GOLF nut and Jack Nicklaus does TV commercials for RBS. One just happend to be on about the time I made my post so I used it! I myself choose a little "hometown" bank to handle my money. The kind of place where everyone knows your name and you aren't asked for ID when you cash a check. I wouldn't be caught dead in a BoA branch!

1:08 AM  
Anonymous yeppy said...

"الازهر يمنع دخول كتاب الاسلام الوهابي للجامعة الامريكية لتهجمه على العائلة المالكة السعودية"
This is another example of the topic. I wonder till when this governmental office, which is allegedly called Islamic University, will go on with this censorship? You know why that took place? Because the president of this what so called university is paid by the government, he is paid to safeguard the political relationship and all in the name of Islam.

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